I’m always asked these sorts of questions on @alloaroworlds: What you think I can do to be a better ally to you? Can you recommend any good informative/resource posts allies should check out?
Even though I have spoken about the importance of allies engaging in their own research before asking questions, the lesson is that my future safety and acceptance as an allo-aro in a-spec spaces is too dependent on my ability now to present and re-present information. (Irrespective of the limitations on said ability.) So please find a list of my activism-focused Tumblr posts.
I insist, though, that this post only serves as a launching-off point for your investigating and supporting other allo-aro bloggers, activists and creatives. This post collates only one person’s view on being allo-aro and it does not (and should not) stand for a whole community’s activism.
In terms of learning what it feels like to be allo-aro, the best way to learn is to read through our tags and our blogs! There’s so many expression and identity posts you’re missing out on when you don’t! It’s also worth keeping in mind that most allo-aro resources are going to be grassroots and informal: Tumblr posts. If you’re waiting for fancy websites and mainstream journalism discussions, you’re doing allo-aro activists right now a grave disservice.
Allyhood and How to Ally
- Why posts encouraging allo-aros to do the labour of correcting and educating our allies isn’t true allyhood.
- Why allies framing allo-aros as a valuable addition to the aro-spec community, as opposed to our being unquestionably part of it, provokes further feelings of alienation.
- Why it’s important to give allo-aros non-activist posts and spaces to vent to each other about our experiences, alienation and frustration.
Allo-Aro Alienation, Erasure and Antagonism
- Why the flooding of aromantic tags with asexual-only and non-aromantic content is an accessibility issue that denies allo-aros equitable access to our own spaces.
- A screencap essay demonstrating some of the asexual-only content dominating aromantic tags and how it makes me feel as an allo-aro.
- Why it bothers me to see asexuals using my allo-aro posts to start conversations about asexuality and asexual activism.
- Why “aro-ace” doesn’t mean “a-spec”, and why we need to avoid sexualising discussions of sexual attraction in a-spec spaces.
- Why accusations of “splitting the community” or “hating aro-aces” in response to allo-aros voicing antagonism or erasure is doing nothing to benefit the aro-spec community.
- Why the assumption that allo-aros have a complete or even any separation between our allosexual and our aromantic spectrum identities alienates many allo-aros.
- Why I feel required to check my allosexuality at the door in order to participate within the aromantic community as an aro-spec.
- Several allo-aros talking about the need to push aside our allosexual experiences in order to engage with the aro-spec community.
A-Spec Community Inclusion and Terminology
- Why it’s important to use “allosexual aromantic” alongside “non-asexual aromantic” in positivity and informative posts when referring to allo-aros.
- Why “allosexual” is a word without contention in the aro-spec community and a hesitancy in using it is harming allo-aros.
- Why I think “allo-aro” means “someone on the aromantic spectrum who experiences and/or wishes to equally centre their sexual attraction”.
- My feelings on feeling a-spec enough against a context of a-spec community language not being made by or for allo-aros.
- Why the historical, erasing use of “asexual community” meaning “all a-specs” requires asexuals to clearly label asexual-only spaces.
- Why you need to specifically mention that your general aromantic community, project or event is inclusive of allo-aros.
- @arotaro created the dark green/light green/white/yellow/gold flag gaining prominence as allo-aro-specific pride.
- The tag #alloaro on my aro-spec creative media Tumblr, @aroworlds, collects a range of allo-aro stories, crafts and visual art pieces.
- Hallo, Aro is my ongoing flash fiction series about allo-aro experiences and the intersection of aromanticism with sexual attraction. You can find these stories on Tumblr, on my WordPress site and as a PDF or EPUB ebook.
- Love in the House of the Ravens is my serial novelette about an autistic allo-aro character’s discovering his aromanticism. You can find installments on Tumblr and on my WordPress site.
- I also have a master post collecting all my fictional works with allo-aro narrating protagonists. All of these pieces are available for free as either stories posted to my website or downloadable digital books.
Lastly, in light of the time it took to collate this post, I’ll mention that I have a ko-fi account and I enthusiastically and desperately welcome all purchases of digital beverages. I’m a multiply disabled, trans allo-aro who is not as supported by our government as I need to be to pay my bills and fill my prescriptions, so this is how my allies can help me stay alive to keep making resources like this post.
If you can’t support me financially, then I’d be grateful if you would consider reblogging my allo-aro book master post, my aro-spec book master post or my Hallo, Aro stories. These posts–not my community discussion pieces–are what let me grow my audience for a future of being able to market my creativity.
Thank you for reading and thank you for your support!