Allosexual Aromantic Erasure: A Guide

Handdrawn illustration of a yellow pasture against a background of hills and sparodic trees. Scene is overlaid with the dark green/light green/white/yellow/gold stripes of the allo-aro pride flag. The text Aro Worlds Discussion Post sits across the image in a black, antique handdrawn type, separated by two ornate Victorian-style black dividers.

I’ve seen the beginnings of a trend that conflates aro-ace experiences of aromantic erasure in a-spec spaces with allo-aro experiences of allosexual-and-aromantic erasure.

I am troubled when this notion of we’re all aros together and we all experience aromantic erasure is sometimes being used to silence allo-aros from talking about our specific experiences. But I believe this line of thought seems reasonable because there’s been no real discussion on what allosexual-and-aromantic erasure in a-spec spaces looks like. When you don’t know what allosexual-aromantic erasure is, it’s not so unreasonable to think that it’s always similar to aromantic erasure.

When allo-aros experience aromantic erasure in general a-spec spaces, we are simultaneously experiencing allosexual erasure alongside it. (This is because we cannot exist in a-spec spaces by virtue of our allosexuality alone.) This makes our experiences of erasure in a-spec spaces different from those of aro-aces, and we need this difference recognised.

(Aro-aces are not privileged for being asexual, but inside a-spec spaces there is a real assumption that folks are asexual, not allosexual.)

It’s also worth noting that these points are interconnected and similar: a lot of these instances of erasure can’t happen without the concurrent existence of others. I’m listing these to create this sense of exposure and clarification, because even allo-aros don’t know the breadth of our own erasure.

I’ll also say that erasure does not have to be intentional to be erasure. A lot of this doesn’t happen from malice; some of it happens from good intentions and a lot of it happens from the history of aromantic communities and culture evolving from asexual ones. It still diminishes allo-aro voices, though. It’s still erasure.

So please find a list of forty-five instances I consider allo-aro erasure, along with a few parenthetical explanations.

Allosexual Aromantic Erasure in A-Spec and Aro-Spec Spaces Is:

Continue reading “Allosexual Aromantic Erasure: A Guide”

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Collection: Allo-Aro

Handdrawn illustration of a green meadow foreground with green and yellow pine trees growing against a mint-hued sky. Scene is overlaid with the dark green/light green/white/grey/black stripes of the aromantic pride flag. The text Aro Worlds Fiction sits across the image in a black, antique handdrawn type, separated by two ornate Victorian-style black dividers.

This is a separate list of all my works featuring allosexual-aromantic narrating protagonists. My other aro-spec works can be found on my fiction page or at my website.

It’s also worth noting that my protagonists are like to be various combinations of trans, non-binary, multisexual, disabled and autistic.

Hallo, Aro

Cover image for Hallo, Aro: Allosexual Aromantic Flash Fiction by K. A. Cook. Cover features dark pink handwritten type on a mottled green background with a large line-drawn peacock feather, several sketch-style leaves and swirly text dividers. Green arrows sit underneath each line of text.Is it “aay-romantic” or “arrow-mantic”? What if she hears “I’m a romantic” instead of “I’m aromantic”? What if she says “isn’t that just friendship” or “that can’t be real” or, worst of all, “I’m looking for something more”?

Hallo, Aro is a series of flash fiction stories about allosexual aromantic characters navigating friendship, sexual attraction, aromanticism and the weight of amatonormative expectation.

Links: PDF | EPUB | WordPress | Tumblr

Individual stories: Unspoken | Leaving | Friendship | Lucky | Attraction | Existence | Neuronormative

Length: All stories are under a thousand words.

More info: An ongoing series of stand-alone stories about allo-aro experiences, ideal for folks after quick reads!

Continue reading “Collection: Allo-Aro”

Hallo, Aro: Friendship – K. A. Cook

Cover image for Hallo, Aro Allosexual Aromantic Flash Fiction. Cover features dark pink handwritten type on a mottled green background with a large line-drawn peacock feather, several sketch-style leaves and swirly text dividers. Green arrows sit underneath each line of text. A translucent overlay of the green/light green/white/yellow/gold alloaro flag sits underneath the text.

Hallo, Aro is a series of flash fiction stories about allosexual aromantic characters navigating friendship, sexual attraction, aromanticism and the weight of amatonormative expectation.

Contains: A sapphic aromantic who wishes to partner a dragon’s handmaiden without the complications of a romantic relationship, but finds comfort in her friendship with her own dragon.

Links: PDF | EPUB

Length: 993 words / 4 PDF pages.

Advisory: Depiction of amatonormativity and expectation of romance in relationships from both sexual partners and parents.

She fears speaking it, but she likes days spent with Azhra, likes nights spent with princesses, likes this unconventional life far from a home that never suited her. If freed of navigating her lovers’ romantic expectations and desires, what more can Elisa want but caves, treasure, dragons and handmaidens?

Continue reading “Hallo, Aro: Friendship – K. A. Cook”